Life Lessons Learned (So Far)

Well, I took a long break from the blogging world. I just never know what to write about, and I have the tendency to think, why would anyone care about this? Then, when I do find something worthy of writing, I am afraid of what people would think of me. But, then I found myself doing what I always do when my mind is running in a stir - I read quotes online. I stumbled upon Sylvia Plath, and this particular quote caught my attention...

"Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."
— Sylvia Plath

People always tell me write what you know; however, what I know always seems to be of useless information for others. But, in retrospect this IS a blog about being random...so to introduce my boot and kick out of this long blogging hiatus, here are some of the life lessons I learned (So far):

1. If a place is a gas station converted into a bar, it is already not a good idea - don't go in, turn around and resort to the nearest Applebees instead...$3 brewtus on happy hour sounds like a wayyyy better idea.

2. Tequila shots - It may look fun, sound fun, even smell quasi-fun, but in the end it doesn't feel fun later that night...or even the next day.

3. If you feel it in your gut, your gut is probably right...especially if it says you need to throw up - Note to self: next time make it to the bathroom a little sooner (and not on the patio at the bar)!

4. You will spend your whole life trying to find the meaning to it, but I just say live it the best you can and relax...BOOM! Problem solved!

5. Carli Simon may never be able to solve your men problems, but she makes great background music when you are crying about them.

6. Bubble baths with wine will ALWAYS make thinking a little bit more clearer and easier to deal with.

7. Getting your heart broken is not the end of the world - it is only the beginning of lots of drunken nights with your girlfriends and later realizing it was for the best...even if it takes you two years to conclude this...And don't forget the credit card balances reminding you of those drunken nights...

8. Always eat your veggies - and if they taste gross it is okay to add salt and some cheese.

9. If you make a mistake, you WILL pay for it...however, you only grow up if you actually learn from it.

10. Never look back, unless you are trying to remember what happened the night before...

Okay, that is enough for now...Til next time...

Love,

The Bear

Drivers Beware...I Am Out There

(Pictured: Random Canadian dudes I saw while driving.)

I have nearly a 30 minute commute to work...not so bad; it provides me with plenty of time to get a lot of singing practice in. It is crucial I prepare during the week just in case I come across a decent karaoke bar. But, I have to admit I have a major case of road rage - seriously, if you see some crazy girl hollering at you, flipping the bird it just might be me. And to apologize just in case it was you I was calling a bleeping idiot - truly, I am sorry. It is nothing personal. I just don't like people who get in my way or drive really slow.

So, here it comes. DUM, dum, dum...list time!

My top driving annoyances:

1.) Two words: STOP SIGNS!!! Is it just me or do drivers begin to break down at stop signs...they like freak out.

Who goes? who waits? It all seems confusing! One guy will inch forward like he is about to go. You wait patiently giving him the right-of-way. Then he stops, and waves you to go. Gee golly george, make a decision and stick with it buddy!

2.) Tailgaters: I have been rear-ended twice because of these bleeping dumasses (and yes, I meant to write dumass).For the record: Riding someone's booty is not going to make them go faster. Especially, if there is a car in front of them. DUH!

3.) Big Rig Trucks: I mean who really likes them on the road? They drive slow, and always seem to bombard the road when I am running late for work.

4.) Weaver in and outers: You know those drivers who weave around lanes left and right? The funny thing is they will pass you up and later on the road you caught up with them. Kind of defeated the point of all that ruckus they were causing the first place.

5.) Dangerous jaywalkers: Okay, I am all for giving pedestrians the right-of-way, but if they are randomly running into traffic - they are stepping into war zone; let the best man win! (They have cross walks for a reason)

6.) Police Officers: I am usually good about abiding by driving rules, and the two speeding tickets on my belt have toned down my speedy racer tendencies, but I always get nervous when I see a cop. I suddenly pay extra attention to every maneuver I make. The funny thing is I am never doing anything wrong in the first place, but they scare me coming out of no where like they do.

7.) Break huggers: People who step on their breaks constantly when in traffic; especially, those who do it at the last minute....annoying!

Anyway, those are just a few of my driving annoyances. To those of you who don't do any of the above - HIGH FIVE. You are saved from a "friendly" wave in traffic from "The Bear."

Glistening Memories of the Garage...

So, have not written on my blog in awhile- truthfully I don't even know if anyone reads it. But, it does not mean I have not been writing. I have been trying to put a story together; not sure why or what I will do with it, but hey, it isn't the silliest thing I have done. Not as bad as the time my friend, Kitten and I decided it was a good idea to dance and play in the rain, and then later sit in the bathtub and drink hot chocolate with vodka. I know random, but those exact moments are exactly what I have been writing about - random, stupid moments that will never leave my memory.

A lot of my best times happened in the garage where the Kitten and I had our own sanctuary to just be random and frankly, just laugh. We had it all set up like a second living room. It was great...So, I came up with the best description of it:

"The garage…no one would understand it if I told them all about it. But, at one in my life it was my haven. A place where I would not care what others thought. So many secrets feasted in the garage. A huge plate of tears, laughter, anger, and pure fun. The memories that lurked in the smoke of those four walls will last a lifetime. The bottles that used to creep in the corners, and the futon that had the dust of many strangers - made the garage a crucial aspect in my quest to grow up and find myself. So many stories were told, so many drinks were drunk, and the beginnings of many friendships made its mark in that room. It was an imperfect scene; the door never closed or locked, the table was older than we were, and the carpets were masked with stains that we were unsure of how they got there. I will never forget the garage, even as I find a more calm and collected life - less drinks, less cigarettes, and definitely less Del Taco runs - I want to keep those flashbacks close to my heart in the nearest pocket possible."

Just felt like sharing, don't just you love memories like that?

"Cigarettes, Alcohol, and the Garage"

Roaming with a Madeleine display,
Drenching through my fingers,
Memories that danced along my legs,
Exploited - a bottle of “raz-ma-taz.”
Singing a song that stirs within my veins,
Bleeding with sweet regret -
And although, it cannot be taken for present,
I want it all back,
This time in which we lived -
A glistening memory,
That will last forever.

They Sure Can be Tempting - The Sluts (oops, I mean slots)

"They (slot machines) sit there like young courtesans, promising pleasures undreamed of, your deepest desires fulfilled, all lusts satiated." -Frank Scoblete

So, I partook in a gambling escapade with my sisters on Saturday night. Every time I go, I feel this temptation...the sounds of the slot machines, the pretty, bright colors, smoke feeling the air (not exactly the prettiest sight), and waitresses walking around yelling "cocktails, cocktails." I am immediately splashed with money signs clouding in my head...oooo, money, money! That is all I can think. Although, I am not the biggest gambler, I do find myself wanting to slide my 20 dollar bill in the machine, because you never know, I could win big! Of course, I never do. The most I have ever won is 120 bucks after throwing three dollars into a 5 cent machine, crossing my fingers, and hitting "max bet," and BAM! I hit a bonus. I immediately cashed out, and decided instead of taking my chances, I bought everyone a round of drinks - it just sounded more lucrative to me.

(Above - a picture of me "enthralled" in the sluts)

Then, there are those other people who look like zombies, pressing and pressing the buttons, staring at the pretty screen, probably gambling away their rent money. I feel for them, and I can see why the sluts are so tempting. They get you really. You put your money in - and often, you start winning and winning....and seeing the numbers jump up on the screen, which take over your logical mind and drags you into a crazed, enthralling state. And there, they got ya! So, it keeps you going and going, money signs on the mind...then, you start losing and losing...and suddenly before your know it, your bet is down to ZERO.

I really can see the addiction, but unfortunately I am a frugal person, and would much rather spend on other immensities (i.e. wine). But, I feel for those people. I just don't see how people can take that much of a chance on luck.

I Blame it ALL On Mr. Paluba - For the Most Part

Oh man...heart beat racing, mind goes blank, a sudden fear of death kicks into the brain, and cold sweats rushing throughout my body! I hate when I get anxiety attacks. I can't remember when I had my first one, because I have had so many. I have always wanted to pinpoint this fear that often arises in the least opportune moments, but I can never quite figure it out.

It wasn't until yesterday that I realized, it could be the time Mr. Paluba, my geometry teacher from high school brutally embarrassed me in class one day. I think I have been traumatized ever since!

When he called on me to answer a question I said "ummm," and he abruptly shouted, "ummm is not the answer!" And he scared the crizz-ap out of me. I could feel my face turning red, as the entire class' attention was focused on me. He proceeded to point out the fact my face was turning red, he said "why is your face all red?" And I just said, "ughhh." And he continued to shout," it's getting redder...and redder, and redder!" It was the most mortifying moment I ever had in high school.

I am not sure if he was the reason for my panic attacks, but I am sure it could very well add to my anxiety. And I hope he reads this one day, and offers to pay for my therapy. HAHA! j/k

Mr. Paluba, thanks a million.

Well, just another random thought for the day...

Rhinos, Monkeys, and Humans all do it ...

Have you ever read that book Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi? I love that story; it should be on a top seller list or something! Every time someone says they don’t cow-plop, I refer to that book, because it tells the truth – everyone poops! I have a friend who will deny that she excretes from her derriere, but I know she has to be lying. The “bible” (Everyone Poops) begs to differ. I really don’t enjoy talking about bowel movements (at least not in detail), but this is a huge concern for me. If the possibility is true – my said friend here doesn’t poop – I am deeply distressed, where is all the excess going? And will she indeed one day, just explode? That would be shitty (yes, pun was intended). Anyway, just my thought today...

Rhinos poop, dogs poop, and even she poops too....The Bunny

Don't Just go to a Bar...DIVE Into it!

My friends make fun of me all the time...I am the hugest fan of dive bars. I love them! They always feel like home. No outfit is too dressed up or dressed down. And if they let you smoke inside, even better! I can come up with a bazillion reasons why I love dive bars, but I decided to incite you with my top 15!

15 Reasons I Will Choose a Dive Bar Over Any Classy Joint:

1. Drinks are always cheap: I hardly ever walk out with a tab more than 20 dollars, and that is including food!

2. Everybody knows everyone: It's like "Cheers."

3. There is that old drunk guy who comes in everyday, orders a Coors Light, and always has a story to tell...."When I was your age..."

4. The stray cats outside: It is just totally random

5. There is always a diverse group of people: In one night you will see the old, lonely guy sitting by himself drinking a Coors; the sorority girls taking shots of Washington Apples washing them down with a margarita; the older ladies who finally got away from their husbands for a "girl's night"; and the random drunk girl who "loves everyone," and is your new best friend because you gave her a cigarette...I can go on for days!

6. Did I mention drinks are cheap?

7. The bartender (once you are a regular) knows you by your drink, and first and last name!

8. "Regular" status means you don't have to put a credit card down for your tab.

9. The random "cover bands" that consist of men in their 60's who never moved on from the high school garage band stage.

10. Pool: Who doesn't love playing pool? Especially, if you make a bet that winner buys the next drink (must choose a very drunk opponent for this one), and cheat every time they turn their back (put the ball in the hole and tell them you made the shot). I did that once, and got two free beers out of it!

11. It's okay if you look like crap, I guarantee there is still going to be a guy that will hit on you: Despite this "guy" isn't going to be cute or have any potential; he is going to buy you a drink and call you beautiful, and come on, who doesn't love free beer and a complement?

12. Karaoke: Everyone sounds like a dying pigeon, the mike is never loud enough, and nobody really pays attention; yet, they all clap and say "you sounded sooooo good!"

13. The stray cats outside can handle their alcohol better than you can.

14. Peeing in the bush outside is okay as long as there aren't any cops watching.

15. Talking to yourself isn't considered "weird."

So, next time you want to knock on a dive bar, you can look back at my reasons for trying them out! However, before you do, I will only provide one warning: Don't go into a bar with a parking lot full of motorcycles - you are moving out of "dive" territory and walking into a biker bar. I made that mistake once, and almost got stabbed for it. It is a long story, maybe I will just save that for a later post!

But, "The Bear" must get her beauty rest now...